Mommy, Why Did You Leave Me?

Here is Janel again.  Whenever I have to do something and leave her, I always tell her that I'd be leaving her for a while.  If I didn't, like when she is sleeping, when she wakes up, she cries and asks me "Mommy, bakit iwan mo ko? (Mommy, why did you leave me?)"

Then, I always tell her Jesus is always with her (similar to what Kristel said before Jesus is taking care of her) even if Mommy is not around. I really like the fact that children have a very simple faith.  She really believes that.

Now, when she finds out that I left her for a while, she is the one telling me "Di ba kasama ko si Jesus, Mommy? (Jesus is with me, mommy, right?)"  I even heard her tell that to her little sister, Angel, when she's crying and I am not around.

It is really comforting to know that we have an omnipresent God.  He is always there not just during good times but even in bad times.  He is there even when we feel He is not and our circumstances is clouding our  senses . We can always call on Him and He will be there.  He is a real friend we can always count on.

It is my joy and peace to introduce the Lord to our children because I know that He will always be with them and will love and take care of them. When I am not around or when they are sick or when they are on their own, I have Someone on whom I can confidently entrust the lives of my children.

So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" ~ Hebrews 13:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

Change Must Begin With Me

Lately, I subscribed to Jean Tracy's e-course on The Discipline Attitude.  I felt I needed it because sometimes I feel so frustrated with how my children are responding to me.  Are they just being irresponsible or playful?  Are they just testing my patience or just want my attention or defiantly disobeying me?  What am I doing wrong? Why aren't they responding the way I expect them? 

As I read the e-mailed course, I'm learning about the mistakes I've made in dealing with my children.  But the most important thing I am learning is not how to change my kids, but how to change myself.  On the first email, it taught me 5 action steps:  Tame your emotions;  Think before you speak;  Talk only about your child's behavior;   Look and act serious and Act with confidence.  

I thought I'm supposed to learn how to discipline my children. But here I'm being taught first to discipline myself.  If I want success in parenting my kids, discipline and change must begin with me as a parent.


The same principle of self-change also applies in many things of our lives.  Have we ever prayed "Lord, please change this person who is not good to me"? Or "Lord, please change my difficult situation"?  Or "Lord, please change this and that"?  But when was the last time we prayed "Lord, please help me change myself."  Matthew 7:3-5 says

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 

This verse says that before we judge other people or the difficult situation at hand, we have to clear our vision first.  The reason we cannot see the good in others or the bigger picture in our situation is because we have impaired vision.  Change must begin with ourselves.  That would have half-solved the problem if not all of it.  


Let this be our prayer:

Change my heart oh God, make it ever true
Change my heart oh God, may I be like You.
You are the Potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me, this is what I pray.

Photo Image by Geri-Jean Blanchard

Inspirational Video: Say Thank You

Have you said thank you to the Lord for all His many blessings? He provides our needs.  He gives us the air we breathe.  He gives us the health we enjoy.  He stands by us when we need help.  He loves us more than anyone can love us.  He sent His only Son that we may be saved from sin and death.  If you were the only person in the whole world, Jesus Christ would still have died for you.  He deserves our thanks and praise!

Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name, make known among the nations what He has done. ~ Psalm 105:1

Love Can Warm the Coldest Heart

The first chapter in the book Pearl Girls - Love Can Warm the Coldest Heart - is so touching.  It gives an inspiring story about how acts of love and kindness can warm an icy cold heart to bear the fruit of forgiveness.  Hope you enjoy reading the first chapter of the book you can find below.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Margaret McSweeney

and the book:

Pearl Girls

Moody Publishers (July 1, 2009)

***Special thanks to Amy Lathrop of the Litfuse Publicity Group for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Margaret lives with her husband and two daughters in a Chicago suburb. Her book, A Mother’s Heart Knows was published by Thomas Nelson in 2005. Go Back and Be Happy, a co-authored book will be published by Lion Hudson in July 2008. Margaret has been featured on Greg Wheatly’s “Prime Time America,” TLN’s “Aspiring Women,” and LeSea’s “The Harvest Show.” Margaret writes freelance articles for The Daily Herald, the largest suburban Chicago newspaper. Notable interviews include Wolfgang Puck, Thomas Kinkade, Susan Branch and Dr. John Gottman. Margaret also wrote a feature article for crosswalk.com. With a master’s degree in international business, Margaret became a vice president in the corporate finance division of a New York City bank and worked there from 1986-1993. Supporting charitable causes is important to Margaret. For the past five years, she has served on the board of directors for WINGS, an organization that helps abused women and their children get a new start in life. Margaret would love to meet you too.

Visit the author's website.


Pearl Girls from Michael J Garvey on Vimeo.


Product Details:

List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 192 pages
Publisher: Moody Publishers (July 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0802458629
ISBN-13: 978-0802458629

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

LOVE CAN WARM THE COLDEST HEART

By Susan May Warren


Ephesians 4:32: (ESV): Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.



Angels of Forgiveness


I felt as if I had been slapped. I gaped in horror as I stared at the empty storage room and tried to comprehend my mother-in-law’s words, “ . . . and we even made $200!” She had sold all my worldly possessions without my permission. She was trying to be kind, but in doing so, she plowed a cavernous furrow through the garden of our friendship. I knew it would never bloom again.


Our family had just returned home after serving as missionaries for four years in Russia. We still hadn’t found a place to live, and my mother-in-law wanted to help by clearing out room for us in her unfinished basement—in the space our hundred boxes of lifetime treasures once occupied. She’d sold everything from hand-knit sweaters to homemade

quilts. Only a forlorn crate of John Denver records and a bag of used mittens remained.


The money she handed me from the proceeds of the sale felt like blood money. I had waited for four years to unwrap my wedding china, greet my books and knick-knacks, and slip back into my fine dresses. I couldn’t believe I had put so much value on possessions, but I had, and now I was stripped.


Then I discovered she’d sold my Christmas ornaments. Every year since childhood my mother had given me a special gift at Christmas, a new and unique tree decoration that symbolized my life for that year, as well as her love for me. The box of heirloom ornaments I had so carefully packed had been sold for a dollar; my memories traded for the price of two cheeseburgers.


A ball of anger swelled in my heart. As I curled in my bed, sobbing out my grief, the ball gained momentum and became an avalanche, burying any tendril of love I had left for the mother of my husband.


Christmas loomed close and everywhere I saw beautiful, glittering Christmas trees. My tree was naked, its arms bare against the white lights. Where was the golden star with my name etched on it, or my tiny porcelain piano? How could she have done this? I felt entombed by my anger.


Sometime in January I realized I had missed the joy that came with the advent season. It couldn’t penetrate my icy heart. I could barely look at my mother-in-law, despite the fact she begged my forgiveness. “I didn’t know how much this would hurt you,” she said, weeping. “I was just trying to help.” I turned a stone heart to her plea. Frost laced the edges of our conversations and although I said the words, “I forgive you,” my soul

was an iceberg and I knew I had not.

In the past, my mother-in-law had been my greatest supporter, encouraging me, helping me pack, babysitting, and stuffing thousands of newsletters. She had cried with me, prayed for me, and tolerated me living in her home. I missed her and knew that if I wanted warmth to reenter my heart, I had to forgive her. But nothing could ease the ache of losing my memories. I avoided her and resolved to live with the pain.


When we moved away in February, I slammed the door on our relationship and didn’t talk to her again. Three days before the following Christmas, a parcel arrived at our

front door, my name etched on the front. Mystified, I opened it. Then, surrounded by my family’s astonished gasps, I unwrapped, one by one, a collection of angel ornaments.

From bears with wings and halos to gilded crystal angels holding trumpets, I hung a choir of heavenly hosts on my tree. Finally, I sank into the sofa as my children examined the

decorations, oohing and aahing.


“Who’s it from?” my husband asked. I retrieved the box, dug through the tissue, and unearthed a small card. Merry Christmas—Love, Mom was scrawled out in my mother-in-law’s script. Tears burned my eyes and, as I let them free, my icy tomb of anger began to melt. My mother-in-law was not able to retrieve the past she had so carelessly discarded, but she was hoping to build a future, our future. And it would start with these angels, proclaiming the love and forgiveness that entered our world. If God could forgive me, who stole His Son’s life, certainly I could forgive my mother-in-law for stealing my . . . stuff.


Easter arrived and with it forgiveness finally flowered in my heart. We descended upon the in-laws for a visit and I wrapped my husband’s mother in a teary embrace. I had lost the little stuffed bunnies my grandmother had knit for me, but I had gained something better—the fragrance of forgiveness, and the everlasting hope that love can warm the coldest heart.

"Mommy, Why are You Scolding Us?"

"Mommy, why are you scolding us?"  That is one question my kids ask that they have a hard time understanding the answer.  Though,

Yuan, one time told me "Mommy, you are scolding us because you love us, right?"  I told him when we scold or reprimand him and his kuya (brother) and younger sisters, it is not because we don't love them but because they did something wrong.  And when they do something wrong, we want to correct them because we love them and we don't want them to grow up bad.  If we don't care for them at all, why would we bother correcting them?

Though I know why I reprove my children, many times, I fall short or go overboard in correcting my children.  I fail to make them understand why and the only thing that is imprinted on their childish minds is the angry tone in my voice.  Having such a conversation with my son opens my eyes to my shortcomings as a parent.  And I ask the Lord to help me in this very important task of parenting.

I know that scolding has a negative connotation in our society today especially with the many talks and issues against child abuse or maltreatment .  Of course, when correcting our children, it is wrong to go that far.  But I still believe what the Bible says in Proverbs 13:24

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

I'm not saying that we should always spank our children when they make mistakes.  There are times that it is not the right response and is counterproductive.  The proverb says exercise care in disciplining.  If we truly love our children, we cannot just ignore when our children misbehave.  We should take the appropriate actions.  As Jean Tracy, family counselor and Parenting Tips author, says

"...ignoring your children's misbehaviors destroys your natural authority to guide and train your children. Without that authority, you'll end up raising little monsters."

The task at hand of disciplining our children is a very difficult thing to do especially if we just follow our emotions like anger and impulsiveness.  I can 100% say that I'm still a learning mom when it comes to this.  I pray, Holy Spirit to help us exercise the fruits of the Spirit in our lives.  O, Holy Spirit, help us to love, be gentle, patient and self-controlled yet firm, fair and righteous when it comes to child discipline.

Photo Image by Dawn Allyn

Inspirational Life Quote Collection: Salawikain or Filipino Proverbs

This week's theme for the Inspirational Life Quotes Collection is Filipino Proverbs or Salawikain. I thought of compiling this after my son had his project in Filipino about Salawikain.  Salawikain is a type of Filipino literature telling proverbial lessons which may be expressed poetically.  If you would like to share a salawikain (I hope you do), feel free to add it to the comments section with your link. I'll add it to the post with your backlink when I've read them.

• Ang taong hindi marunong lumingon sa pinaggalingan, ay hindi makararating sa paroroonan. (A person who does not remember where he (she) came from will never reach his (her) destination)
• Habang maiksi ang kumot, dapat matutong mamaluktot. (When the blanket is short, learn to curl up.)
  
• Matalino man daw ang matsing ay napaglalalangan din. (Even a wise monkey can be tricked.)
• Kung may tiyaga, may nilaga.  (When there is perseverance, there is success.)
  
• Kung may isinuksok, may madudukot. (When you save you have something to use in case of need.)
  
• Aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo? (What use is the hay when the horse is dead?)
  
• Ang tumatakbo ng matulin, kung matinik ay malalim. (He who runs fast, when pierced in the feet is deep.)
  
• Daig ng maagap ang masipag.  (The hard-working is surpassed by the punctual.)
  
• Mahaba man daw ang prusisyon, sa simbahan din ang tuloy. (Even if the procession is long, it will eventually reach the church.)
  
• Anak na di paluin, magulang ang paluluhain.(A child who is not disciplined will make the parents cry.)
  
• Habang malambot pa ang buto ay hutukin na ito. (Bend the bones while they are still soft - talking about disciplining a child while still young.)
  
• Pinapalad ang marunong magpatawad. (Blessed are the forgiving.)
  
• Kung anong itinanim, siyang aanihin. (What you sow, you reap.)
  
• Huwag mong gawin sa iba ang ayaw mong gawin ng iba sa iyo. (Don't do to others what you don't want them to do unto you.)
  
• Ang taong pasensiyoso, magaling sa negosyo. (A patient man is a good businessman.)
  
• May tainga ang lupa, may pakpak ang balita. (The earth has ears and the news wings.)
  
• Walang malaking nakakapuwing.
  
• Walang lihim na di nabubunyag. (No secret will not be exposed.)
  
• Linisin mo muna ang iyong mata bago linisin ang dumi sa mata ng iba.   (Remove the speck in your own eye before removing the speck in other people's eye.)